Tunnel vision

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”    Matthew 6:31-34

If I brought you to a big department store and told you to buy a particular item, but also told you that I didn’t want you to buy anything that was red in color, I am pretty sure of one thing – you would suddenly see a world filled with red items!  You would have the color red on the brain!  And don’t we do that in other areas of our lives?  I sure do – I probably wouldn’t care 2 cents about a doughnut unless I’m on a no-doughnut diet, then all I can think about it doughnuts.  So when we have a huge need in our lives – whether its about a job and money, or a spouse, or a health problem, or just about anything, it’s hard to think about anything else, even with a huge world around us.

Now, all this being said, I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m probably one of the most guilty people in this regard, always hyper-focusing on my needs, no matter how small, and missing the multitude of blessings that I’ve had in my life.  And I tend to quickly forget about the miracles that God has blessed me with, pinging about today, and forgetting about how gracious God has been to me in the past.  In the past few years I have desperately searched for a job, and every day I wake up with unemployment on my mind, go through my day thinking about it and worrying about how long the money will last, and lay in bed at night with my closet of anxieties wide open and spilling out all over me.  Talk about tunnel vision!

A few days ago I heard someone talking about their own experience with unemployment, and they said that Matthew’s words really hit them hard, and they finally realized that they needed to start “seeking first his kingdom”.  And when they did just that, God showed his faithfulness in amazing ways.  They took their eyes off of their problems, and focused on God, and it was only then that God was able to open doors for them “no man can shut”.  WOW!  That hit me hard too!  I have been here, struggling to get through every day, in my own effort, and completely forgetting about the fact that God has a plan for my life, and that it is in HIS time, and HIS way that matters, not mine.  I realized that part of my seeking His kingdom, and His righteousness, means that I have to take my eyes off of the walls of the tunnel around me, and look forward to the beautiful blessings that God has both given me, and has in store for me.  God did NOT bring me out into the desert to die!

There is most definitely a light at the end of this tunnel – it is God’s light, and a world of his blessing and love for me, and for you.  Seek that first!

Heavenly Father, you are so amazing!  You have given us your word and your promises, wrapped in your grace.  Thank you for the blessings that you’ve given us, and help us to remember those blessings when we feel like that tunnel may never end.  Help us to see your light.  We ask for your strength and grace, and the peace that only comes from you, and to help us keep our eyes on YOU, not our problems.  Lord, help us to seek you first, always – and to hold on to you in every circumstance.  Thank you for the people that you place in our lives who remind us that you are a faithful God, and who remind us to never forget that.  Forgive us when we get wrapped up in our selves, and deliver us from our self-pity and self-centered ways.  Lord, we pray all of these things in Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2013.  All rights reserved.

Those Lazy Days of Summer

” Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.”  Proverbs 10:4

Don’t you just love lounging around in the summertime?  I do.  I enjoy laying in my hammock, watching the puffy clouds float by.  I love closing my eyes and feeling the breeze blow over me, listening to the sounds of the leaves rustling on the trees.  Could I enjoy doing those things all day, every day?  Well, catch me in the right mood, and I would tell you that I would.  But let’s face it, aside from getting bored after a while, I know that there are lots of things in life that need to be done before I can truly enjoy that kind of relaxation.  I enjoy relaxing AFTER I’ve done the work that is important to do on any given day.  Solomon knew this.  In Proverbs, Solomon tells us over and over that hard work and diligence produces wealth and abundance, but that excessive sleep and laziness lead to poverty and disgrace.  And Solomon’s words apply to the tangible world and the spiritual world, now and forever.

Really?  Does this mean I have to work for my salvation?

NO!  Not at all!

What it does mean is that we should work to have a vibrant faith so that we can reap the joy of that faith, even when we go through trials, even when life isn’t all hunky dory.  Hard work in this life doesn’t mean that you’ll never go through a trial, or face loss, or that you’ll always have perfect physical health or abundance.  But if you do work hard, you’ll be able to enjoy more of the fruits of that labor that if you just sat around doing nothing.   Well, the same goes for the “work” we invest in our spiritual life.  If we want to enjoy the maximum benefits from our saving faith in God, through Jesus, we are told to draw near to God, and that by doing that, He will draw near to us.  I’ve learned this principle during some of the greatest challenges I’ve ever faced in life, and in many of the day-to-day problems and annoyances that I’ve dealt with along the way.  When my husband went through cancer, I spent time in God’s word, reading his promises and abilities.  I prayed.  And it was hard work, because my head was continually trying to go down a really dark path.  But God comforted me.  He gave me hope.  He reminded me that He is bigger than cancer, bigger than fear, bigger than the here and now.  When I feel afraid about unemployment and lack I pray, and God pulls me into him and puts his loving arms around me, protecting me and caring for me.  He catches my tears, and opens my heart to His peace.  All of those things take work – doing things that you don’t “want” to do at the time, because it’s easier to focus on the darkest things that are the furthest from God.  But when we do the “work” we reap the benefit of God’s blessings, especially in hard places.

So take the time to do your work.  Don’t be lazy, and you will know the wealth and riches of God.

Dear Lord, we thank you for the great promises of sharing your riches in glory with us.  It is so easy to forgo the “work” of knowing you, drawing near to you, and keeping our faith in You, and in your promises.  Father, we ask you for strength – strength to reject the dark path, strength to hold fast to your word, and strength to walk in your ways.  Help us to deny our lazy nature so that we can grow in You.  Bless us with renewal when we do draw near to you.  Be with us always, and hold us up when life leaves us feeling so down.  Thank you for hearing our prayer.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012.  All rights reserved.

Don’t Look Back

” But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”  Genesis 19:26

If you ever feel like this world is getting more depraved, more unrighteous, and more evil every day, then you know how Lot felt when he was living in Sodom.  So how did Lot get to Sodom in the first place?  Well, he did what many of us do – he looked at the economic opportunities that he believed were available to him and his herdsmen, and decided that moving to Sodom would be both a good business decision and a good personal decision.  Ok, I can understand that.  But what do you do when you realize that the place that you thought had so much hope turns out to be driven by and filled with bad and evil things?

When God gives you the opportunity to leave, you leave.  And you don’t look back.

Lot’s wife drove that point home.  Don’t look back.  You know – that whole pillar of salt thing.  It’s easy to look back at the things we left behind, and be completely unable to move forward in life because of those longings for the good old, bad old days.  And don’t think that Lot’s wife was the only one who did that, either.  What do you think was at the heart of that never-ending trip that the Israelites took – wandering through the desert for 40 years.  Rather than keeping their eyes on the Promised Land ahead of them, they kept whining about everything they left back in Egypt.  Nevermind the fact that they were slaves there.  When I think about all of those desert years I just want to yell at the Israelites through the pages – wake up!  look forward!  DON’T LOOK BACK!

Am I being too critical of these folks?  No.  No, because I’ve learned that I’ve been guilty of exactly the same thing!  What about you?

So why do we even look back?  Because sometimes we don’t know – and I mean really “know” – in our hearts that God has something better for in store for us.  Our fear of the future gives us pause, and we look back – hoping we made the right decision, wishing we had some of the security that we’ve left behind, missing the “freedom” to behave any way we want…you get the picture.

But the bottom line is that if we put our fears away, and put our faith in God, and his amazing goodness and love for us, we can move forward in life with our heads held high, and our eyes set on the future.  God wants us to trust Him, and yes, that can be scary, but when we hold His hand and walk with Him in faith, we never know what wonderful things are waiting for us in our own Promised Land.

Lord, thank you for giving us such hard-hitting examples of what happens when we fail to trust in your goodness.  Forgive me for my own lack of faith.  Lord, help me to keep my eye on the promised land that you have for me, and help me to not be distracted by the things I’ve left behind.  Help me to remember that the things that are behind me are behind me for a reason.  Grant me the wisdom to look forward, and look up, and know in my heart that you are still God, and that you work everything together for my good and your gl0ry.  Thank you for loving me, even when I’m undeserving of that love.  I praise you, Lord, and pray to you in Jesus name.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012.  All rights reserved.

Contented cows

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”  Hebrews 13:5

Have you ever watched dairy cows grazing in a field?  Just picture it – a sunny day, buttercups dotting the green fields, a blue sky with just a few white clouds….ah….yes…how serene.  And the cows, well, they mosey around, eating whatever they’d like – not a care in the world.  In that moment, wouldn’t you just love to know what it’s like to live in a world that is just like that field?  Oh, I would.  To be content, just appreciating the blessings right in front of me.  Enjoying the provisions of today, and not giving even the slightest thought of what tomorrow may or may not bring.

If I truly listen to God’s word, and put it into practice, I can indeed experience that kind of contentment.  It’s true.

But for you and me, contentment sometimes takes work.

What?!

Yes, work.

Look out your window, and try to clear you mind of all the angst you’ve got floating around in that noggin.  Not that easy, huh.  I regularly walk around, and even lay in bed at night, with steam coming out of my ears from all of the worries I have buzzing around in there.  When you look out that window, what do you see?  Do you see a bird?  You know – like the sparrow that Jesus told us about, and how much more we are loved than even that sparrow.  Do you see flowers?  Like the lilies that Jesus said don’t labor or spin to get their beautiful “clothes”.  Is it raining?  Like the rain that produces crops, like God’s word tells us.  Can you recognize the things in God’s creation that are evidence of his love for us?  Can you enjoy those things, even if only for a moment?  And when you allow yourself to actually breathe, and take in that beauty, sit back and try to truly appreciate those things.  Be content in those things.  Tell God about it.  Ask Him to let you see other things in your world through those same appreciative, contented eyes.  Ask Him to let you learn to see His handiwork in even your greatest challenges.  You’ll be amazed at what a little contentment can do.

Lord, forgive me for taking so many things in your creation and in my own little world for granted.  Thank you for blessing me with things I’ve never even appreciated.  Thank you for telling me over and over that you’ll never leave me or forsake me…because I need you always, and especially now.  Bless me with your peace, so that I can cast all worry about of my mind, and so that I can learn to be content, and in the moment.  I ask for your blessings in my life and the lives of those who love you – grant them, and me, the desires of our hearts.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012.  All rights reserved.

Lift up your head

” But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. ”  Psalm 3:3

David wrote these words when his own son, Absalom, was going after him.  Can you imagine that?  A son, a family member, someone closer than anyone – going after you.  Hating you.  Putting you in fear for your life.  And Absalom wasn’t doing this by himself, mind you – which would be bad enough – but he rounded up “thousands” to help him.  That is hate.  It would have been bad enough if it was a stranger, or a known enemy.  But this was David’s own son.  David’s experience is proof positive that some of our greatest hurts, our biggest disappointments, and our strongest fears, can often be inflicted by those closest to us – our spouses, our family members, or employees, our bosses, or others that we love, trust or rely upon.

But David didn’t shrivel up, as much as he may have wanted to.  He didn’t abandon his faith, as hard as it may have been to find.  He didn’t let fear determine what he would do, as easy as that would have been.  David praised God, as hard as that was to do, when his back was up against the wall.  He spoke, out loud, that God was “his shield” around him. And not just that.  David said that not only was God his protector, but that God was bestowing glory on him.  Yes, you heard that right – David saw that in the middle of the horrible times he was going through that God was, nonetheless, giving him glory.  To be able to recognize God’s grace and glory in your life, during the worst times, is so hard sometimes.  How on earth did David do it?  In short, David recognized that every day, every moment, that God enabled him to live and to fight on, was a new opportunity, and demonstration of God’s faithfulness and sustenance.

Wow.  I need to get my head going in that direction.  Oh, and what direction is that?  UP!  When we acknowledge God’s grace, protection and grace, in our worst circumstances we have no choice but to lift our head to the heavens, and praise Him who sustains us.

Lord, thank you for letting us know that we are not alone in our struggles.  Thank you for being faithful when it seems that this world is against us.  Thank you for sustaining us when others fail us.  Thank you for being our provider.  Thank you for giving us hope and glory, in the middle of our trials.  Thank you for lifting up my head when I am low.  Bless me Lord, even when I know I don’t deserve it, because Christ died for my sins and my failings.  I pray that you deliver me from my trials, and let me know joy again.  I pray that you show your love to those who put their trust in you.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012.  All rights reserved.

 

From little seeds

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.   Habakkuk 3:17-18

Spring is a time of sowing and planting.  It is a time when we can sense new life all around us, and we have an expectancy that the things we sow and plant will one day yield a harvest.  When we put a seed in the ground, we cover it up, water it, and try to create an environment that will help that little seed begin to sprout.  If you’re like me, you go back day after day to look and see if there is a little sprout popping through the top of the soil.  And when we don’t see anything for a while we don’t get upset – we know that seeing evidence that the seed is growing takes a while.  We don’t plant a seed and start wringing our hands an hour later because we don’t have tomatoes that are ripe and ready to pick.  We usually feel excited knowing that we’ve planted a seed, and one day soon, we’ll begin to see a sprout – and that after months of care we’ll eventually have a harvest.

So what about the other kinds of seeds we sow in life.  Do we have that same kind of joyful anticipation about those?   Speaking for myself, no – not always.  Oh, I’d like to think that I sow at least a few good seeds in my life.  But I have this “thing” about wanting to see an immediate harvest.  I’m totally guilty of impatience, faithlessness, fear, worry and all of those other not-so-attractive things.  I think that by watering the seeds I’ve sown with my tears that they’re going to sprout faster.  But they don’t.  I think that by blowing hot air over the seeds that they’ll sprout – you know, like when I angrily tell God that I’d better see some sprout-action, “or else”.  But they don’t.  I think that by stomping the ground all around the seeds will make my own little seeds sprout.  But they don’t sprout then either.

So finally, when I’ve cried myself out, and yelled myself out, and stomped myself out, I just sit there, in my own silence.  And God does indeed let me sit.  And sit.  And when my protracted tantrum is over, then I can start to breathe again.  It’s only then that I can utter a few barely audible words to God.  Usually something like “I”m sorry…so sorry”.  And in my heart I know He hears me.  I think that’s the kind of sprouting God wants in all of us.  He wants the sprouting that comes from HIS seed.  He wants the sprout of my humility.  He wants the sprout of my needing Him, and knowing I need Him.  He wants the sprout of my praise.  And only then can he start to work on my seeds.  In His time.  In His perfect time.

Lord, thank you for showing me the futility of my own efforts, and the realization that without You I’m nothing.  Thank you for reminding me, gently, that YOU are responsible for any good harvest in our lives.  Forgive me for the bad behavior I have – toward you and toward others.  Forgive me for my impatience and utter lack of faith.  Bless me, even thought I don’t deserve it.  Through Christ you saved me from the enemy – and I ask you to save me from myself – from doing the things and being the kind of person that aren’t going to move me forward.  The kinds of things that keep distance between You and me.  Thank you for loving me when I’m so very hard to love.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012. All rights reserved.

For the birds

” Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”  Matthew 6:26

One of the things that brings me a little bit of stress relief, and peace, is looking out of my dining room window and watching all of the birds that call our back yard “home”.  We have a number of feeders for them, and houses, and apparently the word got out among them and their friends, and now we have a growing bird sanctuary back there.  I love watching them show up though – and I marvel at their amazing colors, differences and beauty.  And I love watching them eat.  I mean – I looooove watching them eat.  I don’t even know what it is about them eating that I find so fascinating, but I do love knowing that the different kinds of foods that we put out for them are enjoyable to them.  I can only imagine how God loves seeing us take delight when we eat of His bounty, and drink of His living water.

I have noticed a few very special things about those birds though.  I’ve noticed that none of them have been flying around to each feeder, checking and double-checking the level of bird food left in each.  I’ve noticed that none of them look terribly concerned, whether its about the fact that there might only be a few little seeds left in any one of those feeders, or in all of the feeders for that matter.  They don’t give much thought to what gets spilled on the ground, and I’ve never seen even one break a sweat because a grabby little squirrel shows up.   I’ve noticed that none of those birds look worried in any way.  I haven’t seen any nervously nibbling away at their toenails (is that what you call them?), or sitting on a branch with their little heads buried in worry in their little wings.  It’s like they know something that I don’t know.  And what they know is at the heart level, and their little minds follow.  They have no apparent cares, no concerns.  They appreciate the little morsels that are set out before them.  They live in the moment, and they exude a joy that I’ve never known.

My heart is another story.  I worry – all the time.  I check my resources over and over, whether it’s a bank account, my client list, my pantry or any number of things, and I worry about what isn’t there, or how long what is there will last.  I sit with my head in my well-wrung hands, and sink into the mire of my own bad thoughts.  I do a terrible job at appreciating the here and now.  Oh, and did I mention I’m a multi-tasker?  Yes, I can be working on one problem, and worrying about another – all without missing  a beat.  How lame is that?

The birds sing each morning – happy for a new day.  They take delight in the abundance before them when it’s sunny or cloudy.  And when the rain comes they patiently wait for the skies to clear, because they know something wonderful is waiting for them.  The birds are such wonderful examples of how each of us should live each day, thankful and joyful.  They are masterpieces in God’s creation, and their wings can raise us up to the heavens.

Lord, thank you so very much for the beautiful examples of your love that you’ve placed in your creation.  And thank you for your promise to love us, and to provide for us, in even greater ways than you provide for the birds.  Thank you for knowing our needs, and knowing our concerns.  Thank you for the blessings you give us each day, whether we realize it or not.  Thank you for understanding our shortcomings, and loving us when we behave so very ungratefully.  God, help me to remember your love and provision every morning, and help me to find your peace in my heart every day.  God, bless me with every blessing, out of your amazing abundance.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD 2012.  All rights reserved.

 

To stand

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”  Ephesians 6:13

Have you ever had to stand your ground?  As an employee?  As a boss?  As a member of your family?  Have you?

I don’t have children, but I’ll admit to having been one, and my parents never seemed to have any problem standing their ground.  In looking back on my life, I’m glad that my parents did that – they demonstrated their strength and conviction, regardless of whether they were right or wrong.  I would love to tell you that standing my ground came naturally to me, as a result, but it didn’t.  I have struggled with standing up for myself, because standing up for yourself can often be perceived as being self-righteous, arrogant or pushy.  And I don’t want to be any of those things.

So when God tells us “to stand”, it is in the context of first having on the full, wonderful armor that He has graced us with.  When we have that armor on, we are completely aware of God’s love for us – how He saved us, through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross.  We wear our helmet of salvation.  We also don a breastplate of righteousness.  Why?  Because righteousness in Christ allows us to face the world boldly, and it protects our heart.  We wear a belt of truth, because truth ties everything together, and holds our other armor in place.  What else can a belt do?  Ever lift something heavy?  A belt can tighten against our body to provide extra support when life requires heavy lifting.  So our belt – the truth – gives us critical support when we are expected to stand.  How can anyone argue against the truth?  But amazingly, we live in a world that rejects the truth, and that rejects God.  We live days when “evil comes” more frequently than ever.

Have you ever thought about how you might handle having to stand for what is right, in truth, at work?  How would you deal with the anxiety of having to stand up to a boss, or a board, to tell them that the truth matters?  It’s beyond “not easy” – it’s hard.  And it may have consequences.  Could you accept those consequences?  Would you be willing to walk away from a job, when it’s the only thing left that you can do?  I’ve done just that, and it’s a miserable place to be.  Walking away from a job is beyond difficult, and yet having to explain why you left, to a future employer is almost harder, even using as much diplomacy as possible.  I got quite a grilling about the issue in my last interview.  I was waiting for the room to darken and a bright light to be pointed in my face.  Yes, it felt like an interrogation.  When I got home I told my husband about it, and he said exactly the right thing.  He told me that I did all that I could do, and God respects my willingness to stand for the truth more than He respects the grilling that I got.  He reminded me that God would provide for us.

I cried when I didn’t get the job.

But today is a new day.  I have had so many reminders these last few days that standing for the truth was, and will always be, the right thing to do.  And God will take care of me.  Of us.  God’s truth will indeed set us free.

Lord, thank you for letting us know that you love truth, and that when we wrap ourselves in your truth that you will always care for us.  We thank you for giving us your armor, to protect us in this life, when the days of evil come.  Lord, we ask you to protect us, and to give us courage in the dark times of life.  We ask you to show us your grace, and your presence, and to help us to discern the truth.  Thank you for enabling us to stand.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012.  All rights reserved.

Amazing

“Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.”  Joshua 3:5

Today was nothing short of amazing.  Yesterday, not so much.  Yesterday was actually a horrible day, to say the least.  I experienced a huge disappointment yesterday – a job that didn’t come through.  And in my own true form, I promptly reverted to that old bad behavior of mine.  I had a meltdown – you know, a grown-up tantrum, which is very much like a childish tantrum, but the vocabulary is more well-developed.  My husband tried to offer me words of condolence and comfort, and I did try to respond to him kindly, letting him know that I appreciated his support, but my tears, and nose, continued to run.  After a while I figured that I’d better get myself together, and try to “suck it up” and move on with my day as best as I could.  I had a few teary moments after that, and didn’t feel much like eating.  I mostly just moped around, and did a little work at my desk.  I tried to talk to myself, and tell myself that maybe the adage is true, and that it was always darkest before the dawn.  I think I tried to think of lots of little fortune cookie quips that would make me feel better.  Oh, and then after I ran out of those, I tried to remember what God told us in His word.

I remembered that God told us that if we really wanted wisdom, then we should just ask for it.  And He told us to “keep asking” and “keep knocking”.  I also remembered that He told us to draw near to Him, and that when we did that, He’d draw near to us.  So I did just that – when my husband went to run an errand.  I actually waited for my husband to leave the house for a little while so that I could have my out loud, emphasis on loud, “discussion” with God.  I yelled out, and told him that HE PROMISED that if I drew near to Him, that HE SAID – HE PROMISED – that He’d draw near to me.  I told him that just in case there was any doubt, this was my way of drawing near to him, and that if He really meant what he said, then to PLEASE let me know that he was drawing near to me.  I begged him…please…please let me know that he heard me.  Please let me know that he is still real, and that he is still God, and that he really does care, because I just ran completely out of faith.  I begged Him to let me feel his closeness again.

That takes us to today.  I was looking forward to lunch with a dear friend, so I tried to turn my thoughts to lunch as soon as I got up.  I shoved away yesterday’s problems for a while, and got myself together and got out the door.  When I got to the restaurant there were no tables open, and my friend was running late, but I didn’t feel upset and patiently waited for a table.  I finally found a tiny, and I mean tiny, table, but my chair was sticking out and had me perched to that I could see everything the guy in the booth next to me was doing.  And what was he doing?  He was translating a Bible passage.  Hmmm…odd, but ok.  I’m usually not very outgoing in those places, but at the risk of being rude, I asked if he was working on a Bible translation.  He said yes, and we started talking.  He was a pastor!  And then my friend showed up!  And we had the most amazing conversation!  It was wonderful, and for a while, my problems disappeared.  I thanked God for such a wonderful break from yesterday’s sadness.  My friend checked her phone, and I checked mine, just in case my husband called.  It said I had emails, so I took a quick peek, and found more amazing things – requests for job interviews!  And not just one – but three!  THREE!  Amazing!  And I yelled out to my friend that God just answered my prayer!  He showed me that He really does care!  He showed me that He was willing to draw near to me!  AMAZING!!!

So tonight, as I sit here, I realized that today was yesterday’s tomorrow, and I look forward to tomorrow, because tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things!

Lord, thank you for listening to my cries, and thank you for drawing near, and being so very true to your word.  Thank you for letting me know that I’m so not alone, and for bringing my brothers and sisters who are also in You, close to me, too.  Lord, I ask you to continue to be close to me, and keep you arms around me.  Let me always feel you near.  And let me be a blessing to those around me, so that they can know your love through me.  Thank you for the hope we find in You, and for being so amazing.  In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD 2012.  All rights reserved.

I’m not Him

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ”  James 4:6

It is easy to think you’re your own little God, and your own little Jesus.  I’m so guilty of that.  All too often I think I can fix every last problem if I just work harder, do more, stay busy, stay active, and buckle down.  I think that I can figure it all out, and rescue myself from the darkest of pits.  And I’ll share my thoughts about my efforts with anyone who’ll listen.  I can’t be still, and know that HE is God, because I’m too busy being Him.

I had a revelation today.  Yes, my own revelation, written by me, for me.  Oddly enough, this revelation is true.  100% true.

And what is that revelation you ask?

It is:  I’m not Him.

Now, why would I have the need to state the obvious you ask?  Because those are easy words to mouth, but much harder to get those things into my heart.  I’M NOT HIM!!!  AAAAaaarrrrggghhh!  I’M NOT HIM!!!  And the worst part is, I know that I’ll probably continue to struggle with his simple truth!  Why?  Because I’m totally guilty of being proud.   Proud in the ugliest ways.  Lucifer was proud, and we all know how that turned out.  Not a good scene.  Not a good outcome.

So here I sit, stewing in my sin.  I’m angry with myself for even thinking that I could fix the things in my life that need fixing, but that only God can truly fix.  I’m a sinner in need of forgiveness.  Nothing about that has changed since yesterday, but today I’m totally and utterly aware of that fact.  You know, saying “I’m a sinner” is easy when you talk about things like being frustrated with a family member, or needing to get control of your tongue, or something like that.  But when I sit here, face to face, with a sin that goes to my core, it’s a very stinging, bitter moment.  So what can I do?  Only one thing – suck it up, and go to GOD, yes, the REAL GOD, the ONE AND ONLY GOD, with a heavy heart, and ask HIM to forgive me.

Lord, thank you for smacking me in the head today, for letting me see that my biggest problem is me.  Thank you for being willing to forgive my greatest sins, even in light of how offensive they are to you.  I don’t deserve it, and your greatest, gracious mercy is amazing to me, but I thank you for it.  Lord, forgive my pride, forgive my arrogance.  Deliver me from the trappings of my own mind.  Save me from the fate that Lucifer befell.  I ask you to grace me with the humility to look to you first and always.  Help me to find peace in the stillness, and to wait for you with hope and expectation – not because of my ability, but because of your love.  In Jesus’ name, I pray.  Amen.

Copyright ConnieD. 2012  All rights reserved.